Peregrine's Progress Read online

  CHAPTER IV

  IN WHICH I MEET A DOWN-AT-HEELS GENTLEMAN

  I awoke uncomfortably warm, to find the high-risen sun pouring hisdazzling beams full upon me while, hard by, the Tinker's fire yetsmouldered; up I started to rub my eyes and stare about me upon theunfamiliar scene. Birds piped and chirped merrily amid the leavesabove and around, a rabbit sat to watch me inquisitively, butotherwise I was alone, for the Tinker had vanished and his tent withhim.

  Now as I sat, feeling strangely lonely and disconsolate, I espied abulbous parcel lying in reach and, opening this, found it to contain asmall loaf, three slices of bacon and a piece of cheese, together witha folded paper whereon I deciphered these words inscribed in painfullyneat characters.

  YOUNG SIR:

  What is one thing at night is another in the morning, so I have gonemy way and taken my course appointed. If you should wish to meet meagain, which would be strange, I think, you shall hear of me at theWhite Hart nigh to Sevenoaks, or the Chequers at Tonbridge or frommostly any of the padding kind, since the high road is my home and hasbeen long. I am glad you liked my verses, I have more I could haveread you and I think better of yours than you think I thought, thoughyou have taken Lord Byron for your model I think and he is only a poetwhen he forgets to be a fine gentleman. May you prosper, young sir,and find your manhood which I reckon is none so far to seek. And thisis the true desire of me.

  Jeremiah Jarvis.

  Tinker and occasionally literary cove.

  I have left you some breakfast also fire to cook same, eat hearty. Youwill find a frying-pan in a cleft of the tree we slept under.

  Thereupon, being much more hungry than was my wont, I came to the treein question and presently found a roomy cleft where was thefrying-pan, sure enough. And now, having made up the fire, I set aboutcooking my breakfast for the first time in my life and found it nogreat business, turning the rashers this way and that in the pan untilwhat with their delectable sight and smell, my hunger grew to avoracious desire that amazed me by its intensity. So, placing thefrying-pan on the grass between my knees, I began to eat with the aidof my penknife and a hunch of crusty bread, and never in all my daysenjoyed anything more.

  In due time, the bacon being despatched together with the greater partof the loaf and cheese, I lay propped against the tree, blinking inthe sun and drowsily content. But this blissful aftermath waspresently marred by haunting memories of tea, coffee and creamychocolate until at last, roused by an insistent and ever-growingthirst, I arose, minded to seek some means of assuaging this appetite.Thus, having scrubbed out the frying-pan with a handful of bracken, Irestored it to the tree and set out. After some little while I came ona brook bubbling pleasantly amid mossy stones and yet, though itlooked sweet and clean enough, I could not bring myself to drink ofit, being too proud-stomached, and must go wandering on, plagued by mythirst, until, chancing on the same brook or another, I could resistno longer, and stretching myself full-length upon the bank I stoopedto the murmurous water and drank my fill and found it none so ill,although a little brackish.

  As the day advanced, the cool wind died away so that what with theheat and this unwonted exercise I grew distressed and was about tocast myself down in the shade of a hedge, when I espied a small tavernbowered in trees some little distance along the road, very pleasant tosee, and hasted thitherward accordingly. I was yet some distance awaywhen I became aware that something untoward was afoot, for, borne tomy ears, came a sound of excited voices, dominated all at once by onedeep and hoarse and loud in virtuous indignation.

  "Drunk me beer, I tell 'ee--every drop! Drunk me beer at one gullup soquick's a flash--the 'eartless ruffin!"

  Hereupon rose an answering chorus.

  "Throw 'im out! Duck 'im! Gi'e 'un one for 'isself!"

  Reaching the tavern, I halted on the threshold of a low, wide chamber,floored with red tiles and furnished with oaken tables and benches,where I beheld some half-dozen angry country-fellows grouped about asolitary individual who fronted them in very desperate and determinedmanner, his back to the wall; an extremely down-at-heels gentlemanthis, who yet cocked his hat and glared about him with an air ofpolite ferocity.

  "In half a pig's whisper," said he, squaring his arms belligerently,"in half a pig's whisper or less, blood will flow, gore will gush andspatter--" Here, chancing to catch sight of me in the doorway, heflourished off his hat, a miserably sorry-looking object, and bowedprofoundly. "Aha, Sir Oswald," quoth he, "you arrive most aptly--inthe very nick, the moment, the absolute tick! If you have a mind tosee a little delicate fibbing, some scientific bruising as taught bythe famous Natty Bell, foot and fist-work as exhibited by GloriousJohn, Jem Belcher and--"

  "'E swallowed all my beer, 'e did, sir!" exclaimed a red-faced man ingaiters and smock-frock, "in one gullup--so quick no 'and could staythe deed! Stole me beer an' can't deny it--"

  "No, by heaven!" exclaimed the down-at-heels gentleman. "I drank thefellow's beer, every drop--could have drunk more. Our fat and furiousfriend labours under a delusion, for to drink good beer with a man outof that man's own pot is surely a mark of high esteem--"

  "Dang your 'steem!" cried the stout fellow, flourishing his emptytankard threateningly. "A chap as thieves a chap's beer is a chap ascan't be no chap's friend! 'Ow about it, you chaps?" quoth he,appealing to his fellows. "Shall us let a chap thieve a chap's beeran' not kick that chap out where that chap belongs--'ow about it?"Whereupon came the answering chorus:

  "Aye, Sim, go for 'im, lad--we'm wi' 'ee! Pitch 'im out! Duck 'im inth' 'orsepond!"

  At this juncture spake one I deemed to be the landlord, a gloomy beingwho drooped above a small bar in one corner.

  "Do as ye will, neighbours all, do as ye will--only don't breaknothink--them as breaks, pays!"

  "One moment, please!" said I, stepping forward. "If the gentlemancommitted the solecism complained of, it was, I am sure, not so much awish to offend as an error of judgment--"

  "Admirably expressed, sir!" exclaimed the gentleman in question. "Andsuffer me to add--the exigencies of fortune and circumstance!"

  "Therefore," I continued, returning the gentleman's polite bow, "Ishall be happy to make such restitution on his behalf as I may."

  At this there fell a strange silence during which every eye was fixedon me in somewhat disconcerting fashion, feet shuffled, heads werescratched.

  "Ax your pardon, sir--" said the red-faced man at last, rasping shavenchin with tankard rim, "but if you could manage to talk a little lessfurrin'--more plain English-like?"

  "I mean I will buy more beer for you--and any one else who--"

  "D'ye hear that, landlord?" cried a voice. "The genelman do mean potsall round!"

  "Do ye mean that same, sir?" enquired the landlord, glooming anddoubtful.

  "I will pay for as many pots as they can drink, for good-fellowship'ssake," said I, and laid down a coin.

  "Spoken like a true sportsman, sir!" exclaimed the down-at-heelsgentleman. "Sir Oswald, permit me to bring to your notice oneAnthony--myself, once blooming gayest of the gay, now, alas! a fadedblossom, cankered, sir, blighted, yet not to be trodden upon withimpunity and always your most obliged, humble servant!" Here he pausedto lift the brimming tankard the gloomy landlord had just set beforehim and bow to me across the creamy foam. "Sir Oswald, your health!"said he. "And may heaven preserve you from these three fatalF's--fathers, friends and females!" Having said which, he drankthirstily and thereafter sat frowning down at his broken boots beneaththe brim of his woebegone hat, apparently lost in bitter thought. Andbeholding him thus, his flippancy forgotten, his air of dashingferocity laid aside, I saw he was pale and thin and haggard and muchyounger than I had thought. Suddenly, chancing to meet my eye, hispale cheeks flushed painfully, then, squaring his drooping shoulders,he smote his hat more over one eye than ever, nodded gaily, spranglightly to his feet and gripped at the table to steady himself.

  "E'gad, sir," said he, laughing, "they brew uncommonly strong ale inthese parts, it seems!"
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br />   "Yes!" said I, well knowing it was not this had so shaken him orcaused his hands to quiver as he leaned. "I was thinking," Icontinued, "that with such ale a crust of bread and cheese might notbe amiss?"

  "Cheese!" he exclaimed fiercely. "Sir--I--I detest cheese!" But as hespoke I noticed his nearest hand had clenched itself into a quiveringfist.

  "Why, indeed," said I, furtively watching that telltale hand, "Imyself should prefer a slice of roast beef--or a rasher of ham--"

  "Ham!" he murmured softly as if to himself--and then in the same tone,"Sir, I never eat ham, it is an abom--"

  "'Am, sir?" sighed the gloomy landlord at this juncture, "if yougentleman was a-thinking of 'am, I've as fine a gammon as was eversmoked, leastways so my missus do say, so if you'm minded for arasher or so--cut thick--an' say 'arf a dozen eggs--why, say the word,sir."

  "The word is 'yes'--if this gentleman will honour me with hiscompany," said I. Hereupon the down-at-heels gentleman shook his head,scowled into his tankard, sighed, and, meeting my eye, broke into awry smile.

  "With all the pleasure in life, sir!" said he.

  Thus in a little while we were seated in a small, clean room with theham and eggs smoking on a dish between us, whence emanated a savourmost delectable.

  "It smells very appetising!" said I, taking up knife and fork.

  "So much so," said he, "so very much so, that before I accept more ofyour hospitality, it is as well you should know whom you wouldhonour--" here I paused and stared down at the ham and eggs. "Sir, Iam a thief!" Here I let fall the knife. "Three nights since, sir," hecontinued in the same passionless voice, "I broke into a farmhouse andstole a loaf and a piece of cheese. I should have stolen more but thatI was interrupted and pursued. I lost the cheese clambering over awall, the last of the loaf I finished yesterday morning, since when Ihave subsisted on air and an occasional mangel-wurzel--"

  "Then surely it is time you ate something more substantial--this hamseems excellent and--"

  "God love you, Sir Oswald--you're a trump!" he exclaimed and sittingdown, fell to upon the food I had set before him.

  "It is good ham!" said I.

  "Sublime!" he answered, and seeing with what fervour he addressedhimself to the viands, I troubled him with no further speech until,his plate empty, he leaned back in his chair and vented a sigh ofblissful and utter content.

  "For that--" he began haltingly, his voice a little hoarse, "for--yourhospitality--accept the thanks of a starving wretch!"

  "And my name is not Oswald!" said I.

  "Of course not, but it answered very well with the fellowsoutside--nothing like a high-sounding name or title to awe yourBritish rustic. And now," said he, with an expression half-whimsical,half-rueful, as he picked up his woebegone hat, "having by yourcourtesy eaten and drunk my fill, I will do my best to repay you byridding you of my company."

  "I was christened Peregrine," said I, reaching over to refill histankard. Now at this he stood mute a space, and very still, only hefumbled nervously with his hat and I heard his breath catch oddly,wherefore I kept my gaze bent upon the jug in my hand.

  "Sir," said he at last, speaking as with an effort, "when I stole thebread and cheese, I would have stolen--anything that had chanced in myreach--money--jewels--anything. I was mad and desperate with hunger.And yet many a poor rogue in the same circumstances did no more andtheir bodies dangle in chains on the highway. I have even contemplatedturning footpad--"

  "I think," said I, "you told me your name was Anthony--well, if youare going on, I will come with you, if I may."

  "You will trust yourself--with me--in these solitary byways!"

  "Of course," said I, rising, "because, in spite of everything, you area gentleman!"

  At this he turned very abruptly and strode to the latticed casement,while I, having summoned the landlord, paid the reckoning. Then,bidding the company good-day, we set forth together.